experimentation of photoshop effects just for the sake of looking nice.. my protest to the formulaic, serious, "thematic concerns and interpretation" in a recommended embarrassingly- literal-kind-of-way of A level art..

*right-click the link(s) and open it in a new window so it wont interfere with your reading you dumb motherfuckers.. blearrgghh*rolls eyes*

Going home today, i got stuck in the same MRT carriage with a teenage girl squad
it reminded me of the time i myself was a tweenage girl, my life revolving around neoprint machines, fussing over the latest babydoll- dress designs and Jackie Cheung. Also, what was most significant in my tweenage years was puberty, tackling it, getting caught by mom when i was stroking myself while listening to evanescence(watch the whole scene Here .. dont worry its not porn) . It was so embarassing, you go girl! That was also the time when i got to know boys! but after highly productive discussions with my dear diary, i discovered they need help in understanding us girls! Hence, i have, for the good of women everywhere, written a manual for guys starting with deciphering the code of womens' dialogue patterns.

WORDS WOMEN USE
*****************************
FINE
This is the word women use to end an argument
when they are right and you need to shut up. (talk to the hand! you go girl!)

FIVE MINUTES
If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five
minutes is only five minutes if you have just been
given 5
more minutes to watch the game before helping
around the house.

NOTHING
This is the calm before the storm. This means
"something," and you should be on your toes.
Arguments that begin with 'Nothing' usually end in
"Fine"

GO AHEAD
This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it.

LOUD SIGH
This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal
statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh"
means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why
she is wasting her time standing here and arguing
with you over "Nothing"

THAT'S OKAY
This is one of the most dangerous statements that
a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means
that she wants to think long and hard before
deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

THANKS
A woman is thanking you. Do not question it or
faint. Just say you're welcome.

Send this to the men you know to warn them about
future arguments they can avoid if they remember
the terminology!

its so easy... but guys are such monkeys! blearrgghh.. like talk to the hand! *rolls eyes*


*i got the dumb list from an email..

most blogs you read out there hold mostly anemic and vapid writing as its content. Yet, most blog-owners are proud of them like how my petulant grandpa is of his "top three varicose veins that most look like moses lim". Most entries detail the most mundane daily activities

"today i went to orchard with baby, so we walked to heeren then we walked to to taka and then we went home.. when i reached home, i sms baby and i was so tired!

*butterfly enigma bared her soul at 08:31 PM*"

while others use it to just bitch about

"dewi ingat dia lawa sangat, nak step lawa! tak guna punya pompuan! rampas matair orang lain! pelacur!

*roxygal made her confession at 05:14 PM*"

I wondered what made them write this way.. were they half asleep when in the process of updating their blogs?



or were they simultaneously watching balding-middle-aged-men(mat botak patchy patchy) porn that they werent that focussed on what they were writing cos they preferred to watch the porn instead?hmmm...



After some blog-hopping and adjusting the sock wrapped around my testicles, i realised that blogs were the next best thing to mind reading! Yes, and with the proliferation of blogs, more and more people were getting their minds exposed for all to see. Sensing a conspiracy, i pointed the finger accusingly at those nyonya assasins i had seen riding around in their dirtbikes wielding katanas in dominatrix-themed leather even though they werent related to this topic in any way. Were they weeding out future ninjas? Were they scouting for new nyonya recruits? Every nyonya assasin i tried to approach has intimidated me with their murderous stares..




Such tigerish appearances scared even me, a ninja, a premature evolution of humankind into homo superior.. what more normal homo sapien law enforcement officers i thought.. It would do no good if i reported this..



(done in the style of those dropped diaries/journals in games like resident evil)