Sunday, May 22, 2005

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The adopted country of Pug Jelly found them cool enough to grant the band considerable commercial success.

Has recognition of an expatriate punk outfit's marketability and careful targeting of the same
demographic spawned a Pug doppelganger?

Their fanbase might be mainly made up of tweenage orchard road infestations largely affected by jealous guys poking fun at the metrosexual boybands their predecessor generation were obsessed with. This results in them trendily declaring their non- allegiance to boybands but rather to the presentlypopular pop-punk/goth getups popping up everywhere.

Angsty "nobody loves me anymore" teenagers in Singapore now have a reason to do their version of the celebratory chicken dance.

Listening to SET FOR GLORY bestows the same exclusive smugness an underground band might bring to the "rebellious" non-mainstream listeners who will grumpily also find themselves among the same fan-crowdof Pug Jelly, for that is SFG's appeal.

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Set for glory is ambitious and due to it's fortunate timing in pop ascension, looks strongly
marketable particularly because of its music's genre and ethnic mix. The young band is still in their teens and shows great promise in the music it can churn out. Also featured in their growing resume is their confident and engaging showmanship capable of causing a high-pitched oral eruption in the largely female crowd.

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Enough about music, the orders from my co- overlords at prosaic were to write about the evening spent with the band...

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Initially startled by the melodic beeps on my glossy-steel futuristic milky pink bracers, i crawled
out of my room where i have dictatorial rulership over the sea monkey civilisation that i have carefully nurtured from a $24.95 bag of eggs which i bought at 7-11 to a bustling metropolis with an unhealthy interest in bukkake, folded paper and chowing down on marine creatures raw. I then hopped onto my pterodactyl megazord and made my way to a coffeeshop in Potong Pasir.

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The band in person displayed an almost alien sense of humor to native singaporeans which proved almost offensive and unacceptable in our own established decorum. Maybe its the three seasons of living with lydia that we have secretly/passively encouraged to be prolonged that has killed off our tolerance and ability to appreciate actual giggle worthy humor. Relating their encounter with irate Mcdonald's staff who told them off for behaving "like an american" and then getting labeled "lame" by "requested to be anonymous" voluntary viewers of the interview footage is proof enough of the rift between asian conservative chuckles and the modern satiric-hyperbolic cocktail of humor.

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Shameer, the most charming of the three, joked about how "i heard that when the (hall)doors opened, a hot air of steam rose out" after someone commented about how stuffy the venue of their previous gig was. Lead singer Nico's anemic reply to the question "what inspires you when you write your lyrics" was met with a frank protest by the resident american-indian punk- rocker as he teased, "dude, its an interview! make something up! make it sound smart!"

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Nico, notably the looker of the band appeared reserved and jittery, fumbled with a few questions and was fortunately saved a number of times by band member, Shameer. Titus however, looked comfortable and exuded that boyish, slightly-goofy charm as he posed for photographs and answered questions in his eager ear-to-ear grin.

The band collectively disagreed about being "the next" or "another" Pug Jelly, declaring instead the preference to be synonymous with the definition of pop-punk that Simple Plan has established themselves to be. When quizzed further, Shameer reasoned that "because both our band names start with an S" , prompting Titus's turn to remark that "that was the lamest thing ever dude!"

The band's unintentional, politically-correct disposition of members happens to be "regardless of
race, language or religion and for happiness and equality"(band members are malay, chinese, indian and eurasian), much to their gleeful delight. Although missing member, Faris, a malaysian wasnt there to be critically, unfairly judged and assessed by the crew of prosaic, the band has, overall, stifled laughter and all, charmed my socks off.

links : Set for glory

Monday, May 16, 2005

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DAY 1:
It wasn’t my fault that I was imprisoned in a glass case of emotions. Feelings suppressed and constricted by glass walls and greedy goldfishes that gobbled up every fish pellet or flake in their sights, my months in this filthy water-world were always about survival of the fittest. The Goldfish Bourgeois finishing every bit of fish pellets before they reach to mid-feeder level and the Genghis Tiger Barbs were chomping away the fins of us weaker species.
My only place for solace was a small bottle cap thrown in the same day I was sent to this Aquatic hell. This bottle cap however will be the centre of a much needed power shift. Months have gone, and now I feel the need for a coming of a new era. The dawn of a new world is inevitable. It is time for the TETRA REVOLUTION.

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DAY 2:
Went to meet up with some tetras sucking on some flavored gravel at the bed. Guess that’s the only food supply left. Heard from them that some Mongolian tiger barbs came and ate part of their tail. Sick bastard barbs. I curse their stupid mono-toned stripes. This was enough to get my cold blood boiling. Until suddenly I saw the most painful scene in my entire months of life. A group of young tetras lying on a hard plastic Hydrilla. They were dying of hunger. I knew we had to take on those fat goldfishes one day. I also knew before being dumped into this fish tank that the master Gobinut had a supply of miniature AK-47 rifles for his hamster cheer-leading brigade on the other side of the glass. What he didn’t know was that these supply have been passed on to me by his hamsters who were fun-loving, peaceful and gay. I tried to gather the hungry and half-eaten tetras first. I knew they would be easily hyped up to my ideologies having facing painful times. They wanted a change. They wanted the filters to run red…. With goldfish blood!


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DAY3:
Today is the most memorable day ever. A most pivotal part of this great revolution. I have just rallied the tetras behind the filters where no fish would notice. Issuing them the AK-47 rifles all they needed was a great motivating speech by me before the mass killings! “ Hear me my tetra brothers! D-day is now! No more will there be imbalance in this tank! No more will there be famine for us tetras! No more shall there be fear in our eyes ever again! Our children will live free! This will be our fish tank! Our world!!
We began our massacre once Master Gobinut left after throwing loads of fish pellets in the tank. As usual the goldfishes instantaneously arrived to gobble up everything. From below we fired our rounds. They didn’t see it coming! One by one they died. One by one they cried ‘Oh great goldfish jesus! Have mercy on us all!’

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(to be continued)

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a project by Muhajir Mobb the cashier, affectionately called Mobinut by me..

this piece was inspired by my testimonial for him which totally kicked ass...

muhajir feeds on plankton and keeps a red pouch on his abdomen to attract mates(puffed up for full effect).. i kept him in a fish bowl once, but he escaped by inciting a neon tetra revolution in the neighboring tank.. however orwellian, he installed himself as marine dictator and keeps a harem of snapping turtles now.. you horny piece of casserol you!


Monday, May 09, 2005

What will we ever do without HipHop, RNB and influential black culture?

Once upon a time there lived a boy named Azmi, this boy was well-known throughout the medieval, plague-stricken land for his famed double chin. "It had the power to tame even the wildest flames!!!", one extensively circulated legend exclaimed, among numerous others. "It has the power to tame my heart!", that, not mouthed by the impoverished, fable-weaving peasantry intent on glorifying this double-chinned young man but by the princess of yore, from the kingdom of all things nice,edible and gangsta, Princess Zainal "IN DA CLUB" Abidin.
Princess Zainal lived in a tower-prison, kept on a diet of baked Irish pheasants and assorted small mammals. The tower's spire touched the clouds, encircled by mutated-hellspawn vultures and no one was allowed near the tower except for the one guard, who happened to be a fire-breathing dragon, keeping with all the good spirit of conventional fairytales.
Azmi the valiant, double-chinned hero, of course leapt at the chance to rescue the delectable Princess Zainal who by now had honed his artistic, poetic talent through years of lonely song-writing in a drafty tower bedroom. The Princess sultrily warbled her self-penned siren song to her imminent escape from prison life. She had anticipated the arrival of the hero, Azmi and with magnificent talent-quest-grade intonations, belted out her latest lyrical wonder.. "You're gonna say OOHHHHHHHH... cos thats gonna be the sound thats when we going down...(1*)" The pyrokinetic dragon outside nodded agreeingly with the Princess's "illest rhymes", primarily due to him mistaking the song as a seduction attempt at his handsome self. "Stop right there Grrrrrllllfreennn! You talk to the hand cos the face don want to hear it!", the dragon shouted back because he didnt want to be too "easy", which in modern parlance would mean being a harlot, almost passing as acceptable to the giant mythic reptile cos he wanted to be a "HO" instead, even though both perform the same damned services. "All that and a bag of potato chips!!!" the dragon punctuated, all smug about his brilliant wit.

(to be continued)

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"welcome to my candy shop y'all.. "


(1*) - taken from Omarion B2k's song about "going down" and all the usual gangsta merrymaking