This post is dedicated to a classmate of mine back in school, Dhanalatchmi..
She did a site with the intention of converting every classmate of hers , including me and Azmi into superheroes.. Its kinda cute really... considering im already one...

the link here

an extract from the site...

Male Mutants

Real Name: Ridzal Zinal Abidin

Character Name: Shabdrung Ngawang Namgyel (God King of Bhutan)

Date of Birth: May 25, 2003

Height: 187cm

Weight: 75kg

Hair Colour: Mahogany

Eye Colour: Honey

Powers: possesses superhuman strength, speed and agility (Has the ability to fly), an incredible martial artist and able to see energy fields with his mind

Real Name: Khairul Azmi

Character Name: Lestat

Date of Birth: Sometime in 1716

Height: 186cm

Weight: 71kg

Hair Colour: Dark brown

Eye Colour: True Sapphire

Powers: Is a Vampire, Invulnerable to Mortal weapons (except weapons made of pure silver), great physical strength, eternal life, produce Glamour energy (Hypnotic Voice) and able to multiply his species by contaminating their blood.

Real Name: Zainal Abidin

Character Name: Captain Berg

Date of Birth: Sometime in 1985

Height: 168cm

Weight: 90kg

Hair Colour: Dark brown

Eye Colour: Ruby Red

Powers: Incapable of bowel control and looking so devilishly good in dim lighting (interior of clubbing venues)

Ok so i made that last one up but thats not important... what is, is that i am on the verge of being crowned god-king of Bhutan after i murder the current one with my patented energy field detection specimen of a mind, although i am entirely unsure of how that would kill him, but lets not dwell on that... moving on.. Its also needed to be let known that my birth name is Shabdrung Ngawang Namgyel really... which totally kicks ass if you think about it....

Other highlights of this site are the wallpapers...
Im currently waiting for the hip-hop/fantasy themed wallpapers of me to be completed... probably depicting me ruling over my subjects with cotton candy compassion and toodley-doo grade niceness while being dressed up in pasty yellow spandex, the attire of kings!


she is definitely a head-turner.. mmmmm....


Subliminal erotic stimulation or just quality hip-hop lyrics?




Alicia keys's asexual reproduction goes thru a glitch


once again.. the link here

enjoy and good night!

we were pressured into doing our own versions of "burning unicorns" and used whatever spare time we had in camp to come up with our cool pieces...

- starting with fauzi's cute unicorn..



and ending with mine...



no captions or explanations needed for ours, its awesomeness speaks for itself.. haiyakk!!!

for the amount of time between now and my last post... ive been training my bulbasaur into a mean and awesome fighting force... i have quelled it's latent homosexual attraction to charizard and beefed up its scrawny vine-arms with GNC supplements into trunks equalling moses lim's jolly girth...


"go bulbasaur! oops i mean moses lim..."

I have also been multi tasking... due to my talent and proficiency in the obscure art of MSPaint-ing.. i have set up my very own MS-paint potrait business... here are the harvests of my proverbial sowing...

from this....

to this....

charming innit? and i plan to do more... too...

the willing subject in my promotional piece is none other than my camp mate, fauzi... and with the lengthy introduction aside... this post is all about a cool new idea suggested by this adorably plump little fella.. he told us all to draw "A BURNING UNICORN" and so we did.... actually these two girls did... and here they are...


a drawing by my friend nilofer

this picture suggests the activity of something thats probably illegal... the artist has chosen herself to be represented by her snake-like rendition of a "unicorn"... serpentine metaphors suggesting sexual misconduct probably manifesting in its impending assault on a questionably drawn goat... but like all women... she is fickle and undecided of her sexual orientation... reflected by her attaching a question mark to the "kambing" caption next to it... she reveals her ambitious nature in her speech bubble as flames consume her.. probably reflecting her own suppressed desires in real life... or the flames could just be divine intervention, where god shares my opinion that inter-species coupling should not occur... especially when it involves a unicorn-hydra hybrid.. god then chose to document his wit and wisdom in the one liner.. "BURN BABY BURN"...

overall, a charming piece... id print it on my bolster to hug it to bed with me... whee whee...



a drawing by my friend, rafeeza

this pseudo-hieroglyphic drawing came off pretty cool.. the dark tone of the poeticly beautiful art is further accentuated with the devil-may-care attitude of the stray and untamed follicles on the rear of the cannibalistic unicorn.. clearly, this mythic creature is a collaboration between the greek and egyptian gods... or maybe the mutant spawn of HORUS, ATHENA and lydia sum... no matter what it is, i want to marry it.. and if my parents disagree, we'd elope and have bountiful offspring in a prolific marriage under the beautiful midday sun.... oh! the thought of it! the poetic verse framed left and bottom by the quadreped's undesirable physical characteristics displays the artist's confidence with her appeal and talent, somewhat of shakesperean proportions of course! excellent! id pay to see another one.... id also pay for her to make me some sensual sandwiches but.. thats another story for another day...

in all... a rather marvellous piece to be dipped in caramel and eaten with chocolate rice!

Toodles dee doo everyone that I love so dearly,no matter what race you are.Indian,Chinese,Eurasian,regardles of race,language or religion so as to build a society based on justice and equality and progress for our nation. This is your favourite music journalist,Zainal Abidin,reporting. Yes,i did commit suicide a few months ago but I was resurrected by God on last Friday and on the following Sunday,He told me that I had a new vocation in life as the second coming of the Messiah . Fuck,I hate that job. I'd thought i'd be walking around with thunderbolts on my fists and wearing Greek robes ala Zeus but apparently the Second Coming Of The Messiah uniform sucked ass. And adding divine insult to injury,i had to carry two babies who kept shitting non-stop on my arm but I couldnt electrocute their asses because they were God's children.


Me and the enfant terribles at The Garden Of Eden

So God was sleeping today and i took time to skive off to use the Internet which was forbidden strictly as God decreed that the Internet was pure evil. The Almighty even said that the initials of "www" stands for "wery wery wicked"which was totally uncanny(He had a problem pronouncing the letter V). The responsibilty of becoming The Second Coming of The Messiah obviously took a toll on me and i admit that i have been a little wee bit decadent in my music report. I was thinking of doing a review on Ahli Fiqir's single but that was too easy to make fun of. I hope that the readers of this blog are pop-savvy enough to have ,at least, heard of The Dandy Warhols who had a minor hit on our radio a few years ago and The Brian Jonestown Massacre. These two bands used to be chummy with each other before the lead singers started developing strong sexual feelings with each other. Now they're sworn enemies like The Jedi and The Sith. Well,I am pleased to inform our readers that we actually have a Singaporean version of this tragic love/hate story and it invlves one of totallyawesomedude's affiliates,Syed Idzwan.

What started out as a romantic Satanist fairytale degenerated into a tragedy of Shakespearean proportions. It all started out when Idzwan dabbled in Black Metal when he ws 14. During that time,he was still an impressionable teenager whose sexuality was quite ambiguous as you can probably see from the picture.

During this period of time,Idzwan's black metal band called Beast Goes To Yun Nam had a charismatic and an enigma of a frontman who just wants to be known as Beast.

Beast was a renowned lyricist and songwriter in the underground black metal scene after writing classics such as "Satan's Hair Is Center-Parting Too!".

A sample of his lyrics

"I'm in a dark place with dragons everywhere
i couldnt see clearly so i flicked my hair
it burns,it burns,and i can see the devil
it turns,it turns,amidts the rubble
and i was astounded by the black nature of truth
Satan's hair is centre-parting too!"

Mutual admiration for each other led Beast and Idzwan to spend more time with each other after jamming sessions and even though it is taboo in the world of rock for a guitarist and the lead singer to develop a relationship,nobody could convince these star-crossed lovers that their love cannot and will not be possible.

Alas! It was not meant to last. Beast was impregnated and in the father of all cliches(pun intended) Idzwan refused to take responsibility after dropping the classic line
"How can i be sure the baby is mine and not some Yun Nam Hair Care specialist's?!"

This led to the abortion of the baby and these two characters have been sworn enemies since.
This saga was dormant like the volcano at Kubang Perahu in Bandung until The Beast discovered Azmi's blog at www.thehoohoos.blogspot.com and proceeded to invade the tagboard.

He started by posting a physical threat in reference to a picture at Azmi's blog where Idzwan was wearing a blue shirt.

<Beast>: watch out the guy in blue

to which i curiously enquired

<zainal>: wah..this beast black metal centre-parting one ah?

to which he intelligently and eloquently replied,showing coherent links in his choice of subjects

<Beast>: wah...this zainal loves anal rite? pope is dead...u can try superman's ass

????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
???? Forgive me for the question marks.But i'm truly baffled.??????????????????????????

Azmi then decided to reply to his hate tags

<Azmi luv Beastiality>: aiya beast, stop calling urself a superhero can? all u can do is stay within a 5m radius of the guy in blue and stare with ur nostrils flaring.. so brutal one!!!

which was made after Idzwan and Yazid actually saw The Beast within a 5 metre radius and they were expecting him to at least hurl black metal wizard curses at them but he didnt.

He then replied to Azmi's tag explaining that he couldnt perform his shaman wizardy there due to the presence of the precious Gem Of Skeletal Sarcophagus which neutralized his spells.

<Beast>: HAHAHAH i can see the fear in his eyes. and that black nigga...trying to be cool. hey dogs, lucky the gem was there. 5m? wow..if only i could get neare. MAY BE NEXT TIME !


but not before giving Azmi some Clean And Clear Tips brought to you by the good people at Johnson & Johnsons.
<Beast>: Hey azmi... y not u go to watsons and check out the latest facial wash?

Azmi took his advice and went further by even changing his surname from Jasni to Watsons.

<Azmie Watsons>: haha what a wimp! fancy blowing ur mouth off on the net when u quiver as we bat our eyelids at u in public.. now now i have many reasons to get personal with ur physical profile, but i'm a reasonable person,aren't I? hehe

Having seen him in person once at the bus-stop outside my school after Perjumpaan Hari Raya and Annual Conference of Mat-Mat Sachok Maintain organized By Ridzal,i gave him some tips on personal hygiene and haircare.

<zainal>: should we buy you a brush and an iron maiden cd so u can comb your hair while headbang at the same time? and u can gently part your pubic hair too..oops..you already have that on your head..

A reader of azmi's blog who prefer to remain anonymous then attempted to intervene,being of the opinion that Yun Nam gave sub-par service and that i shouldnt recommend it to The Beast as he might mutate into a sewer rat.

<worried passerby>: man , u guys are realli unhappy with each other , i see.. anyway, i think the reason why this beast guy is so gung-ho could be that he probably has a bouncer of a girlfriend..correct me if i'm wrong.. but i'm sure i'm not lar.

i'd thought that his girlfriend had perfect hair anyway so i said

<zainal>: dude,with all due respect,i dont think we should involve anybody's girlfriends in this one..even if the person being mentioned has pubes on his head which needs constant rebonding and monthly trips to Yun Nam haircare..

Beast was so happy with my recommendation that he started hallucinating about talking dogs which was a side effect of the Yun Nam Pubic Hair Treatment which also included bad spelling,incoherent rambling about African-Americans and typing out "HAHAHAHAH!!!" as if a simple "LOL!!!" couldn't do the trick.

<Beast>: HAHAHAHAH!!! this is getting very interesting..instead of the guy in blue....its his dogs that are talking!!! theses are wat frends are for rite? hey zainal i no u r as ugly as azmi's ass and cant get laid.U need some facial too? u can get from that nigga

in order to improve his English,I adviced him to read Sweet Valley High and being concerned for him after Idzwan dumped him,I told him that watching Spy Kids 3D is best watched with technicolor 3D shades so it wont hurt his eyes.

<zainal>: wow.."ugly" insults..that's pretty original considering that you spend your time reading Sweet Valley High and wanking off to Spy Kids 3D in technicolor shades after black metal jamming practice.
Apparently the side effect of the Yun Nam Hair Treatment has not worn off yet so he kept on ranting andraving about African-Americans,wind instruments,and using the word "balls" twice.
"Balls"! Twice! That hasnt been done before since God said to Adam "I shall create thee with beautiful balls!"
to which Adam replied "Huh? I cant hear you..." to which God bellowed "I said BALLS lah!"

<Beast>: HAHAHHA! wow thats a fast reply..i bet u got no life and wait at the comp for the beast's reply. kudos!!! instead of blowing the nigga's rod..maybe u can learn the harmonica?
<Beast>: hey worried passerby...now u should really be worried..u aint got the balls son!
<Beast>: Hey azmi......dont talk bout getting physical...u will regret it boy.
<Beast>: Enough of this blog shit...the dog is forever hiding... SEE U SOON BOY!......if u got the balls


And just for kicks,here somebody who's got so much balls,it totally justifies his smug face. I mean,he's a tupperware model!



Signing off,
Zainal Abidin

You guys wont even understand this one...


Brawling with neanderthals equipped with neural schools of reason so gnawingly annoying that i was afraid they would spontaneously combust if divine intervention decidedly swoops to remove stupidity from this already fucked-up world.


a neanderthal


another neanderthal

Cursed with the luck of being attached to a dystopian tyrant, a term which only consoled due to its intended exaggeration. Sulky subordination to a guy I deemed moderately tolerable, only on a fair-weathered day of course. This guy seems like he pole-vaulted himself into his self-constructed racial-pride hall of fame.

His largely inflated sense of self-worth led to unwelcome announcements of his own greatness, which would include even snippets dating back to his pre-pubescent days. Like a thunderous bulk of self-promotion lugging its large mass around, periodically bursting out in ranting glorification of its own personal accomplishments.

Then there was the thankless, non-rewarding job of "taking the initiative" where the only acknowledgement to it was a mere "well done", implying some sort of default belief that it was indeed something you were expected to do, attacking and destroying the adage, "you get monkeys if you pay peanuts" considering there were no real incentives to improved work ethics except for perhaps, the ORD testimony at the end of it.

Of course, there is no stopping adopting that kind of super-worker mindset, even after considering that it would actually have begative effects, especially in the lower ranking strata where a super-worker will be dubbed too passionate and stupid, which i myself have to slightly agree. There is no visible, glaring determining factor, be it level of education or inherent "racial traits",its just that after a few months of "super-working", met only by peer excommunication and an occasional fuzzy wedgie, that enthusiasm simply fizzles out.

Likeable quirky characters, who may destinedly become good friends, mixed in the politically-correct ensemble(s) of this "progressive society" of ours however, make existing that much more enjoyable. If this does not outweigh the bulk of suffering directly or indirectly caused by the aforementioned problems, suicide would be a better alternative really. Evaluate yourself accordingly.

To describe it like i always do.



Using my ninja-agility and now 3 months-in of dodging the relentless volley of bullshit-laden projectiles in my camp,i was caught unawares by a wad of bazooka-spit which hit me like a truck in the face... Trying to steady myself from the impact only made it worse as i grew groggy from the head-on collision with ridiculous logic.

The odd-logic sentence interpreted themselves to me as "A level students bad...Diploma students good", mouthed by my lieutenant with matter-of-fact sincerity, perhaps a conviction
evidenced by his cocooned experiences in the military. In his attempt to understand individual work ethics, he has, with all maturity, classified NSFs under level of education and generalised everything based on badly researched examples. Word for word(or slightly exaggerated), "A level people should be pushed harder but Poly students good because they always take the initiative.. see like me.. i from poly what"

With furrowed eyebrows, i tried to understand.. but i collapsed from exhaustion and somehow drifted into a state of psychedelia where unnaturally colored- skies swirled with milky colors and nearby acacia trees talked jamaican..


image from:www.shareproject.net

Laying on the scented-grass, writing letters to a substitute for santa-claus, for superpowers to morph people into molasses.. great isnt it having a blog and yer own imagination...


wait.. maybe this post serves as a reminder for Azmi and Zainal as to how fucked up NS can be seeing how theyre enlisting soon..