Hey hey kids! Today’s update is all gonna be about army survival! Yes! Where would we be without those guys in tight military fatigues ey?


Tally ho to that salute sir!

As a servant oops I mean NS man serving in the army.. I get paid monthly with insults, condescendence and the occasional fuzzy wedgie! And if you ask me.. that’s all the motivation I need to go ahead with my daily duties…

Ive always been a quick learner and by sharing my experiences accompanied by carefully thought through opinions and butt slapping reflections.. I consider it a public service to all you clueless motherfucker who happen to stumble upon my blog..

After going through my update… you guys will be turned from this…


To this!



Although im not too sure if these shirtless guys are from the military at all…

No matter!..

Oh and if you guys are really unlucky or like to hide pork sirloins under your shirt, you could morph into a grubby medium breasted wrinkly old man.. Don’t say I didn’t warn you now!


The story

As a clerk here in the office, my job is to grab hold of online news articles and send them to the cheery fellas over here! Cheerios! Initially.. I was influenced(by default) by my brain to at least filter out irrelevant articles.. BIG MISTAKE…

#Rule no.1… do not allow your brain to take hold of you! Like the devil.. it tries to corrupt your judgement and impede you from doing your patriotic duty! Roger that sir!

To remedy this.. I promptly drilled a hole at the top of my skull and poured concentrated hydrochloric acid into the said cavity…

From then on, i was like the nerd who kept blindly shooting the hostages in a Virtua Cop Arcade Game(which is so 1991 by the way! you go gurl!), anything that moves, blast it to pieces.. im just following orders sir! no time to evaluate and rationalise! affirmative sir!!!

Now im the apple of the officers’ eyes and with my constant ball sucking and cleavage baring antics.. I was on my way to the top of nowhere.. yippee maam sir yes sir!

But then my fall from grace happened.. I screwed up…

I got a 3 day break which led me to weekend duty.. and there, in the morning.. im supposed to relieve the previous day’s clerk and the routine handing over act was carried out… Unfortunately he briefed me about everything except one small detail.. We were supposed to update the officer-in-charge with news articles of the day.. And I was totally unaware that we were now supposed to post our update in MS Word instead of the initial and usual MS Excel.. I got totally fucked up later that night… I was called “bloody stupid” cos I “didn’t ask”…

#Rule no. 2.. You must possess at least the most basic psychic abilities.. Preferably mind-reading, if not.. then.. perhaps premonitions or minor-scale prophesizing..

I totally agreed with the officer.. I really do.. sir yes sir! It was “bloody stupid” of me to not be psychic! I totally realized my mistake that I was supposed to know what my colleague forgot to tell me! My oh my! Silly me!

Realising my mistake, I quickly took a telephone and used it as a colonoscope… And through what makes no sense at all… I inherited psychic abilities…

My.. now im on my way! Roger that sir! So guys.. if you guys would just heed my advice and follow in my footsteps.. you guys can be like me too! So.. until then.. see ya later boy scouts!