I had to write an essay for a chance to get into NTU's art media design course, so i risked it all by carbombing the professors there with this gem...

fresh out of the warm, safe and caring womb of my pre-university institution to the "real world" that our teachers have warned us about. I could almost hear somebody shout "lock and load" as we cautiously stepped out of the school compounds as if signifying preparation for the "rat race", another legend circulated by our esteemed educators.
i had meticulously planned my career route and where i would be 'ten years from now', a skill sharpened from the many mandatory motivational seminars and courses i had to grudgingly attend. So, i wrote down random professions on small pieces of paper and mixed them all in a hat, i decided that i had to be serious about this as it was my future thats at stake. I destinedly picked "artist", but the only thing i knew about art was the generic beret and goatee stereotype i sometimes doodled while writing internet erotic fan fiction.
Totally ignoring the fact that i included that piece of information about my interesting pasttime activities which risked offending someone, i continue with my thoughts about a potential bohemian lifestyle. I had picked NTU's art media design course as, according to students there, the canteen sold fine cottage cheese. Armed with high expectations of fermented milk and an over-idealised opinion of an artist's life, i day-dreamed in my own post-degree projection of events like directing a tribute season of Living With Lydia, a singaporean sitcom so kick-ass-grade good, it made it into its third season here, seriously. Please let me realise my dreams of influencing pop culture and doing my part to corrupt impressionable youths with mass media. Ill be your maid for one month, ok two tops..

if that failed.. i was willing to try this instead...

"Okay... so I walk out of the office about to leave the building when I hear this woman's voice coming from another room. Sounded as though she was by herself talking on the phone... which she was, when I looked through the door of the empty room/kitchen area to find a SUPER HOT girl on the phone talking to whoever.She was in the room with her incredible ass, I'm just thinking "wow, she's alone, I hope she farts, imagine what her farts smell like?"As SOON as I left the bathroom I heard a door shut, hoping it was her shutting the door to the office she returned to. So I walk quickly to the room with the lights off, I walked over near the chair where she sat....
As soon as I walked over near the chair I smelled a mixture between perfume and farts... the air hovering over the chair was definitely funky. I leaned down and smelled the seat where the super hot girls amazing ass sat for at least 5 minutes straight...
It smelled like pure girl farts... a strong fart essence was present in the felt padded seat cushion, I started buggin out. I kept smelling the cushion for as long as the smell's odor retained it's embodiment. I was in heaven with the sexy fumes that only lasted a couple of minutes. I buried my face into the seat cushion smelling this HOT girls candy farts. I was so happy that day.
It was the whole aspect that she was in that room totally comfortable, she knew nobody was around, and God knows how many farts she let out, if she enjoyed the smell, or what. I caught her farts and she had no idea, it's great when that happens. I intend on continuing my trips to this office."


i didnt write this piece of literature, but chances are, it was one of those other applicants .. which automaticaly casts me in a positive light.. so how about it? admission beckons?
*nudge nudge wink wink*