my grandma was sick yesterday night, in the middle of the night, my whole family scrambled there to find her scrambling for breath... Nobody dared to sleep for fear that she would pass on while they had their eyes closed... I was really scared, its one thing to talk about death in poetic verses dipped in black metal rhetoric but its another thing to look at it through someone's eyes, where it is so close... she kept staring at me while i stood in the doorway, i feared she was looking at the angel that would take her away who could have been standing next to me... i really freaked out... This after my girlfriend left me, at this point of time when i needed her... The pain is compounded by the fact that she is treating me like an enemy... she said "you think the world revolves around you" when i asked about her blog entry being about me... I felt that comment being totally unnecessary... It really tears my heart in half to see the person who was just telling me how much she loved me say all these things... Its utterly heartless... sigh... i can only hope that ill be numbed by this treatment soon....