theres no star waiting in the sky, to make living this shit worthwhile... a girl suddenly messaged me and asked me how i was doing... and gradually the conversation moved to the thing(i cant call it a relationship anymore cos according to this other girl, it is only a relationship if she "considered it to be one") we had a few months ago... and now, as opposed to the time we were together, she admitted to having feelings for me... ok thats sweet... but frankly... what the hell? whats the use of it now? whats the use of me doing all i could then to make you feel the same way i do only to see you turn your face away and act like some red-assed baboon on prozac? and now when you've patched things up with your ex, and ive nursed three broken hearts, now, of all the appropriate times, you choose to tell me this? its all bullshit, but i cant deny the fact that its sweet though... haha... so now im supposed to mope around in the corner of my room "wishing how it could have been?"... damn im not gonna do that... and whats with the periodic napalm strikes on me? the latest one says that she doesnt consider it a relationship? just because why? its all lies and her inability to decide anything built the foundation of our "not-considered-a-relationship?" thats simply bullshit... shes the one who asked me if she was my girlfriend, and i replied with ,"errr... duuuhhhhh... i dunno...(at this point of time, my attention was suddenly directed towards a dancing chimp with a party hat)... i think so... duuuhhhh...." remember the times you called me your boyfriend? i have the log files to prove it... yeah im bitter, what am i? a whore? and then they'll laugh and joke about how much of a whore i am, then ill walk around with a visible panty line just so i can... yeah im losing it.. but my anger is real... and before anyone gets angry with me over anything, please verify it with me first... is it something like this? ... *fat-faced, floppy haired platonic bastard: i think ridzal says youre a bitch... snort.. grunt.. *oh-im-so angry and i could bitch about him more now but admitted she loved me once: yah that damn bastard! what the fuck! (sudden twitching because of bullshit brain processing)... i could be wrong... but then again, im being a hypocrite for assuming stuff... ok if i was wrong forgive me, im just relaying the situation as humorously as i can... am i wrong for loving you in the first place? if you're being this cruel to me, im the one who should hate you... stop making it seem as if it were'nt your fault.... and by the way i dont hate you... just the execution of this whole damn break up... theres no harm in talking to me face to face and giving it to me straight in the face, everything there is to it in one big slab delivered right up my arse... ill take it like a man, complete with nonchalant facial expression... think about it... its better than dragging it, telling me periodically about how big an ass i am... what ever there is you dont tell me, i assume, i fill in the blanks... isnt that just human nature to think of what went wrong? hate me for this, but dont hate me for what you've only heard...